In honor of my 35th birthday today, I thought that I would share 5 quick things that I wish I had learned years ago.
- Be kind! A lot of us have been told to “kill them with kindness” for most of our lives. But, seriously, it takes so much more energy to be mean. It amazes me that some people will go out of their way to be mean & vicious. The people that I truly admire are the ones who make everyone around them feel good, which is hard to do when you’re constantly putting people down. So let go of old grudges & treat the people around you with kindness.
- Say no! There is a line between being kind to those around you & being a continual pushover. I’ve always been a people-pleaser & an over-volunteerer. Over the last few years, I’ve run myself ragged by saying yes to everything that comes my way. But you can’t give to others if you aren’t taking care of yourself first. It’s not selfish to need a little self-care & it’s not selfish to admit that you’re overwhelmed. I’m learning to only say yes to the things that are truly important to me, freeing up time to spend with friends & family. Because, honestly, you’re not doing anyone any good when your constantly frazzled & unfocused.
- Cut out the negative! Life is short & my time is precious, so I have little tolerance for constant negativity or drama. It’s exhausting to be around someone who only focuses on what is wrong with themselves, or someone who is always in a fight. Whether it’s a friend, a coworker, or family, sometimes you just have to let go. It can be hard, but you’ll feel better for it. As I get older, I want to be around people that make me feel good, not drag me down.
- Appreciate family! I attended college in my hometown, so although I lived in the dorms, I could come home any time I wanted. After graduation, I started joining my parents on for their Friday night dinner. We still join my parents for dinner almost every Friday & we eat with Patrick’s parents almost every Sunday. It’s a great way to keep in touch & catch up weekly. Seeing my parents so often has also allowed us to move to a more adult relationship. Family are the people that you share a history with & that has become more important as I grow older.
- Rely on good friends! I have some of the most amazing friends a girl could ask for. They’re more like family at this point. They have stood by me & had my back for most of my life. They are the ones that I have laughed with & cried with for over two decades. Although our society values independence, I think that it is so important to find a group of friends that you can lean on when you need to. It’s not a sign of weakness to rely on the people who love you & I am blessed to have so many women to support me when I need it.
My tribe, 5 years ago at my Kentucky Derby 30th birthday party. I absolutely love these women!